Consensual Text

Irritation can be from a lack of lubrication. This can happen if intercourse goes on for a while (because tips from Week 29 were highly successful!) and a woman’s natural lubrication has been used up. It is helpful to have artificial lubricant available for times when you want to prolong intercourse. Be well lubricated before penetration.

If soreness is not usual for you or your partner, then it would be wise to see a medical provider to make sure you do not have a vaginal infection. Friction from intercourse can cause a vaginal infection to flare up.

Mostly,  remember that women take longer to become relaxed and ready for intercourse. It takes a man approximately two to four minutes to be “all set”– it takes a woman between fifteen and twenty minutes to be as ready.

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

There are several exercises to help with lasting longer and ejaculating when you want to,  not prematurely.  

It is essential you know how your body responds to stimulation. Begin by paying attention to your body’s natural response cycle while you masturbate.  For example, knowing when that “tickling” sensation occurs right before ejaculation can help you know what is coming next.  As they say “master your masturbation”

Kegel exercises, especially the Kegel “squeeze”, can help control ejaculation. Don’t fantasize too much when you are trying to control your responses. Stop thinking of your orgasm and focus on what’s happening now.  The part of your brain that triggers orgasm is working – whether you’re trying to have an orgasm or postpone it.  Think about your partner and what is happening for her/him.

Condoms can help with lasting longer AND they are the “in” thing right now.

Talk with your partner and bring her/him into your plans for having a long lasting and good time.

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Intercourse is usually enough for a man to have an orgasm. The stimulation to his penis gives him pleasure and helps him reach orgasm – not so true for a woman.  Intercourse  doesn’t stimulate a woman’s clitoris enough. Most women need to be “turned on” in other ways in order to have an orgasm.

That said, the largest sexual organ in the body is the brain.  Some sexologists say that what is happening between your ears influences arousal more than other parts of your body. 

You have a few other areas to work with, too. Nipples, clitoris, vulva, perineum, and anus are sensitive and can be aroused with good touch – rubbing, pressure, slow or fast, hard touch or soft.  For most people, orgasms happen as a result of stimulation – especially to these parts of one’s body.

Learn about your partner’s hot spots – ask her what she likes and doesn’t like. 

The best position for a woman to reach orgasm is individual.  Listen to your partner’s breathing, watch her body movements and her facial expressions – that will tell you what is arousing to her.

Being a good lover takes practice and the willingness to find out from your partner what gives her pleasure.  That, really, is the best position of all to be in. 

The Pointer Sisters wrote an instruction manual/song in 1981 for those of you still unclear:

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.