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It is so okay to talk during sex! We’re not suggesting you give a complete run down of your day per se…but telling your partner what you like, what’s feeling good and what’s on your mind is completely reasonable…and hot! And for some people moaning and grunting is their talk.
The best thing to do, especially if you’re with a new lover or find yourself wanting to express yourself more with your current lover, is to ask. Everyone is different, so ask how they feel about talking during sex, about talking dirty and about moaning.
Talking during sex exposes feelings that can make your partner feel vulnerable and nervous for a number of reasons including unfamiliarity, intimacy, and/or inexperience with sex talk. “I want you. I need you. Oh, baby! Oh, baby!” is probably not the first line you want to try. Take it easy.
Dirty talk can be a great way to make your partner feel sexy, feel desirous and turn them on. If you want to start talking dirty with a lover and you’ve never done it before, here are a few tips:
- Start by describing what’s going on for you – talk about what you want, and how you’re feeling. For example: “I love the way your skin is so soft”. “I would love it if you did this…”
- Be yourself – not someone you think you should be. You have to find your own way of talking—find your voice and be authentic. Remember—this is not the movies.
- Play with your tone of voice – loud, soft, fast, etc—figure out what feels right to you.
- Ask your partner to talk dirty to you – make it a two way conversation.
- And remember, sometimes silence is the way to go.
Talking can be great, so take a chance and say what is on your mind. It might make you and your lover feel really good.
Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.
Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org
