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Ehhh…it depends…
Relationships vary, as does someone’s commitment to a relationship.
When you decide to be in a relationship with someone, it is critical to understand your commitment. You need to understand what your partner views as “cheating.” Have a conversation so you’re on the same page.
Once you’ve figured that part out, discuss cyber sex. Possible things to ask:
- What’s your opinion on cyber sex?
- When would cyber sex be okay (if ever) in our relationship?
- Do you think cyber sex is the same as masturbation?
- What are some boundaries you want to set in this relationship?
- How do you handle jealousy?
- Would cyber sex make you jealous?
These conversations are hard, but your goal is understanding and trust.
Be clear about how you feel about it, too. Is it okay if your partner watches others have sex online? Talks dirty with someone on the screen? Is aroused by someone else?
Here’s when it is cheating—when you know your partner doesn’t think it’s okay and you do it anyway, OR when cyber sex turns into something other than simply cyber sex (IE: having real life romps with your online buddy).
If both of you decided cyber sex is acceptable, then it is not cheating.
Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.
Do you have a question you would like to see included? Please email goddess@ppnne.org
