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There’s nothing quite like waking up after a night of naughty to find “love stains” all over your couch, your bed, the wall…Traces of the fun we had.
When are cum stains not so charming? When you book that romantic weekend for two, check into your $300 a night hotel, and find dried “stuff” all over the room. Something even less charming is when you have friends coming over and you know they aren’t going to buy your “spilled milk” lie. This is when you need a product and need one fast.
In our (extennnsive!) experience, rug cleaners like “Resolve,” or “Shout IT Out” seem to work the best on upholstered stuff. They handle all kinds of stains and work on all kinds of fabrics.
As far as shirts, underwear, and even sneakers are concerned, laundry detergent and a super wash cycle for four hours should do the trick.
Looking for a more eco-friendly route? Lemon juice, my friend. It cleans everything. Try it full strength, or distilled, just like sex.
Some Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to love stains:
- Don’t call an upholstery cleaning service, unless the entire couch was drenched (If this happens, call Guinness World Records while you’re at it).
- Do know that untouched stains can resolve quarrels about affairs years later.
- Don’t wear the same clothes after a busy night without checking for visible traces.
- Do continue to be adventurous and don’t let fear of cum stains stop you from having a good time. Just make sure you have a product near by.
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