You just finished having sex and before you can even you can even utter the word “Wow,” he’s passed out next to you. Sound familiar?
Don’t take it personally. It is very common for men to fall asleep right after sex:
- He just worked reallllly hard. The male orgasm is quite the process, almost a full-body experience: muscles spasm, internal sex structures contract, blood pressure increases, fluids build up. All of this happens intensely and quickly.
- Chemicals released during orgasm make him sleepy. Oxytocin and vasopressin are two of the chemicals released during orgasm, and they also happen to be associated with sleep. Since biologically speaking, a man should be spreading his seed as much as possible, his body releases oxytocin and vasopressin so he can “rest up” for his next bout.
- Men and women orgasm differently. Check out these great charts from Masters & Johnson’s of the male and female sexual response cycle.
Notice there are three possible scenarios? Women can:
- Get excited, plateau, and then orgasm (with the possibility of multiple orgasms)
- Experience extended plateau with no orgasm (bummer), or
- Experience a rapid rise to orgasm with no plateau and a quick resolution.
If you were stuck in cycle B (excitement but no orgasm), his sleep can seem that much more profound. If you are still turned on, it can be very frustrating to see him asleep before your very aroused eyes.
Our suggestion: If you haven’t orgasmed yet, help yourself out once he’s fallen asleep. It’s a sure-fire way to catch up with him, and catch some z’s. Sweet dreams
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