Consensual Text

Let’s get right down to business!  The very first thing you should do is learn about female anatomy, if you aren’t already familiar.  Knowing the “ins and outs” (er, so to speak) of a woman’s vulva is critical to giving mind-blowing oral. Don’t find yourself in this situation.

Secondly, and this is true of any sex act, ask her what feels good (and ask a couple of times during the experience).  Knowing what she likes and wants will increase her erotic edge and will heighten her sensations and mood.

Most importantly, go slow and take your time. On average, it takes a woman 20 minutes to orgasm (and men only 2-5 minutes!)—slow and steady is definitely the pace you want in this race. 

When you start licking, don’t just focus on her clitoris, but cover the entire area around that pleasure switch.  Use your tongue to gently lick her labia and inner lips. Move all around, including moving your tongue into her vagina.  Remember that your tongue is a very strong muscle, but one that can be soft or hard, and used in many different ways during oral. Licking, rolling, and flicking your tongue all over her vulva can make any woman a happy girl!  

Try putting her clitoris in your mouth and sucking on it. You can also use your fingers to increase her sensation by moving your fingers in and out of her vagina, using them to massage her labia and surrounding skin.

As you get deeper into the oral sex, keep going back to the clitoris and build on the motion and pressure. Watch her movements to tell she is enjoying it – pay attention to her moans and her body. Rhythm is the key.

And now here is some un-cut footage from the film Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Will Ferrell and John Stewart tell you what they know about the C.L.I.T.

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Asking this question is like asking “What’s the best ice cream flavor?” or “What is the funniest movie of all time?” – One person will tell you it’s Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked coupled with a viewing of Anchorman. You may be more of a Rocky Road kind of gal and Steve Carell in The 40-Year-Old-Virgin may really do it for you. My point? The “best” of anything will vary from person to person, sex positions included.

What you should ask is ….What positions do I like best? What position or act helps me have an orgasm more than any other? What type of sex do I get most excited about? Etc., etc.

Everyone’s body is different—bones, movement, size, hips, flexibility, etc—you should try out positions to see what works best for you. Consider the following:

• Positions that allow penetration.
• Positions that easily allow the clitoris to be stimulated
• Positions that allow the breasts to be touched and easily excited.
• Positions that intensify the feelings around the anus.

You can also check out some of these positions that stimulate the senses:

• Positions where you can see your lover and watch him/her.
• Positions where you can smell your lover.

Or maybe you enjoy positions where a lover is tied up and is under your control.

If you’re looking for specific examples of positions, along with cute diagrams, (Warning! Shameless Plug ahead!), check out two of our earlier posts—one of female orgasm and another on the Kama Sutra.

It’s all about you: your preferences, what turns you on, and what you’re comfortable with. So get out there, explore, and have fun!

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Do you have a question you would like to see included?  Please email goddess@ppnne.org

Consensual Text is featured on Twitter and on Facebook .  Fan and follow us for info on a range of topics pertaining to sex and sexual health!

This may be one of the saddest scenarios I’ve ever had to contemplate.  Imagining the clitoris—the only organ dedicated to pleasure—injured or unable to feel sensation because of a vibrator practically brings tears to my eyes!  I suppose you could lose sensation if you were to use some of the barbaric torture devices, I mean vibrators, we featured a few weeks back. But luckily, modern technology can allow me to confidently answer your question by saying, “Aw, hell to the no!” to quote the unflappable Whitney Houston.  No matter how much you use them, vibrators simply cannot take sensation away from your clitoris.

Think of a vibrator as a wonderful sidekick.  A Robin to your Batman, a Laverne to your Shirley, a Cheech to your Chong…except in a non-cartoony, non-Milwaukee brewery, and non-pot smoking kind of way.  Okay, so maybe those were terrible examples. 

My point is that a vibrator is a fabulous assistant in reaching orgasm. It’s not going to cause you nerve damage, or hinder your chances of having an orgasm over time.  In fact, 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and intercourse alone doesn’t guarantee it for some women. So a vibrator can be a tremendous supporter in the quest for the big O. 

As you know by asking this question, the clitoris is a very sensitive organ.  It responds well to all kinds of touch—not just vibrators.  Fingers can easily arouse and heighten sexual desire.  If clitoral massage is done well, the feeling can be a sensational as receiving oral sex.  Light touch, slow circles, side- to-side strokes, and listening for moans of pleasure are some instructions you should pass on your partner. Orgasm can also be achieved when your clitoris is rubbing up against your partner’s pubic bone. 

Occasionally there are women that get hooked on their vibrator and end up believing it’s the only way they’ll have an orgasm.  This usually isn’t true.  But, for variety’s sake, we suggest having several different ones on hand. Dodson & Ross have some excellent sex toy  suggestions.

So, enjoy the pleasures your vibrator provides and don’t worry about losing sensation.  It won’t happen. 

And check out this great video from Dan Savage, as he bluntly answers the question, “How can I get a woman to orgasm without resorting to clitoral stimulation.”

Planned Parenthood of northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org

To receive the weekly question per text, text FACTS to 90999.

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org

To receive the weekly question per text, text FACTS to 90999.

Apparently some can orgasm over a really good tuna melt.

First things first:  what do we mean when we say “sex” ?  The question about never having an orgasm during sex is really about never having an orgasm during penile/vaginal intercourse.  Not “sex”, which can include a variety of fun activities.

Some thoughts:

• According to surveys as much as 15% of the female population have never have had an orgasm.
• 10% of women can only orgasm when they are masturbating.
• About 35% of women will orgasm during intercourse.
• The majority of women can orgasm with their partners – but that is when their partner is stimulating (licking or rubbing) their clitoris.

The majority of women can also orgasm when they are masturbating or using a vibrator. Most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm – this is the key.

It is sometimes difficult to find a partner’s clitoris – some are small and some are hidden under folds of skin – talk to your partner about how you will know when you are being an attentive lover and giving her pleasure and how you can make sure you are actually touching her clitoris.  It is a wondrous little organ, and you may want to do some clitoral homework to learn more.

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org

As mentioned in Week 4, the clitoris is the only organ dedicated exclusively to sexual pleasure.

The clitoris is located above the pelvic bone, at the top of the vulva.  Most of the time, it is covered by a fold of skin called the “clitoral hood”.  When a woman is sexually aroused, the clitoris becomes erect, not unlike the penis. 

It varies in shape and size–it can be as small as a pea or as large as a small finger.  The head is attached to a shaft and a network of nerves that can extend up to five inches inside the body.  Size doesn’t matter…pleasure is derived from stimulation.

It may be difficult for a partner to find the clitoris, but much fun has been had in trying to locate it and the resulting pleasure when it is discovered!

Should you have a question you would like to see included, please send an email to goddess@ppnne.org

The clitoris:

6000 to 8000 nerve-endings ensure sensitivity!

The penis also gives pleasure, but is multi-use: urination.

Other organs and functions of our body also give us sexual pleasure, for example, our skin.  And let’s not forget the “master sex organ”:  the brain!

And gentlemen, if this seems unfair, remember that women are the ones who deal with periods, pregnancy and childbirth!